很多人都想知道，我和我老公究竟有沒有共同點？老實說，最初我們相識時，並不多。我想，要用幾頁紙才能列出我們之間的不同之處，而共同點可能用半頁已經寫完。

　　回想當年，如果我有「我應該得到而他必須具備的條件」或「我不喜歡或絕不能接受的缺點」任何一張清單的話，我老公在第一局已必然被我淘汰了！幸好我當時沒有這麼做，所幸沒有錯過這段好姻緣。儘管當年的他，在我眼中總有點怪怪的，但我仍喜歡他，因為他是一個「好好先生」，就是這麼簡單。

　　他到底有甚麼吸引我？我想，是他正確的人生觀吧！從認識他那天到如今，他都是一個不裝腔作勢、非常老實和不懂說謊的人，甚至有時我會嫌他太老實。當我問他：「親愛的，我肥唔肥呀？」，其實我想從他身上得到點安慰，但他會如實地答：「親愛的，你很肥」。當我聽到這答案時，想擰斷他的頸，但最後都是忍忍他了事。他是不懂得繞圈子說話，如果非要如此，他只會愈講愈糟。

　　不過總的說來，他是一個有誠意、做人公正、可靠、熱心助人和懂得寬恕的人，所以他有一班認識了二、三十年，甚至更長時間的老友、員工和生意伙伴。他三十八年前請的會計師，至今依然謹守崗位，實不簡單。

　　就共同興趣而言，我們都熱愛寫作，但我們的寫作風格完全不同。我們閒時會交換作品，取笑大家的行文、內容、用詞等等。他喜歡用中文寫詩，而我會把他的作品翻譯成英文詩，從中過過癮，我們會爭論譯文內容是否準確等等。此外，我們都有很強的工作道德價值觀，不論做甚麼也總是非常投入、認真。一是不做，一做便要把它做得最好。我們兩都有強烈的好奇心，遇到疑問時，會鍥而不捨地查證，很多時我們的大床好似「書攤」一般，遍布幾公斤的字典和參考書。此外我們對時事和政策都抱有相約的觀點，尤其對某人的印象和想法亦非常相似。

　　有關他吸煙和賭博的壞習慣，我從來沒有半句怨言，只是要求他不要在我面前抽煙。如是者我們一起的時間愈多，他抽煙的機會便愈少，最後他還乾脆戒煙！有些人賭錢是因為無聊，有些是要找尋刺激感以填補內心的空虛。我們一起的生活，多姿多彩，既新鮮，多元化又有趣，再加上常做義工、去旅行，增廣見聞，豐富的新體驗令我們感到人生既充實又有意義。他與我一起時，有這麼多事要做，忙得不可開交，那有空賭錢呢？久而久之，濃厚的興致開始淡化，最後他對賭博完全失去了興趣，可能我已填補了他生活上的空虛感吧。

　　現在的他留著短髮，穿著我買給他的衣服，看起來都算「靚仔有型」。我們有三部車，各隨所願。有時他吃奇形怪狀的不明物體時，我會坐在他身旁享受我的沙律和芝士。我們學會接納不同的人和事，尊重不同的觀點與態度，慢慢接受及喜歡彼此的朋友。經過我向他陳述的歷史背景，他現在會有興趣跟我一起走遍天涯，去尋覓及欣賞古董。我為他設計及訂造了一套完整的衣帽間，幫他將所有衣襪雜物全部分類，一目了然，現在他已變得非常整齊。現在他的運動量比我還多，他還投訴我做得不夠呢！雖然他依然不會送花給我，但現在他會很開明地表達他的愛意和感受，不再感到尷尬。我說話比以前少，他說話則比以前多了……

　　做到以上的，是不是足以維繫一對夫妻的感情？對我們來說，是！我們是簡單的人，要求不高，很知足，對我們的婚姻生活已覺得美滿快樂，你同樣可以！要得到幸福，首先要放棄苛刻的擇偶條件、挑剔的清單，保持開明的態度，抓緊每個機會。赴約時，不要忙碌地數自己與對方的不同之處，試試數共同之處吧！不要狂數別人的缺點，試試欣賞別人的優點吧！只要你願意改變你的態度，我深信你將會很快便找到自己的終生幸福。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

My Own Story (2)

　　Initially, did my husband and I have anything in common at all ? Not much. In all honesty, our differences would probably have filled several pages whereas our similarities, half a page at most.

　　Looking back, had I compiled a list of criteria of what I "should have" or a list of shortcomings of what I "should not accept", he wouldn't even have made it to the first round. Fortunately, I did not have any list and was therefore, quite unencumbered. In spite of all his quirkiness, I liked him because he seemed like a very nice guy. As simple as that.

　　What exactly did I see in him? He had all the right core values. He was, and remains today, a man with no frills and no airs, someone who is completely honest & incapable of lying - annoyingly so sometimes. ( E.g. I would ask him “ Do I look fat darling? ” fishing for consolation, he would look at me carefully & answer “ Yes Honey, you look fat. ”). I could wring his neck of course, or bear my cross ... So euphemistic skill is not his forte, could have done a lot worse. He is otherwise sincere, fair, reliable, compassionate & forgiving, which probably explains why he keeps friends, employees and business associates for 20,30 years and longer...The accountant he hired 38 years ago still works in his company today... Sufficient testimonial for the kind of person he must be.

　　In terms of similarities, we both enjoy writing, albeit in completely different styles. We would read each other's writings, tease each other over content, words & expressions and laugh out loud. He would write a Chinese poem and I would translate it into an English poem, playing around and fighting over interpretations, and have loads of fun doing that. We both have serious work ethics, when we take on a job, we would do it well or not at all . We have curious minds and would check out uncertainties to the bitter end. It's not uncommon to find kilos of dictionaries and reference books scattering all over our bed. We entertain similar views on public events and government policies, and tend to form very similar impressions about people, for better or worse.

　　I have never said a word about his smoking or gambling, except requesting that he refrain from smoking in my presence which he did. The more time we spent together, the less time he had for smoking, eventually he just gave up. By the same token, people probably gamble because they don’t have anything else better to do, or they need the adrenalin to fill a void ? We had many exciting things, exotic travels, new experiences to fill our lives, he was far too busy & preoccupied to be bothered with gambling, and eventually lost interest altogether. I guess I had filled that void.

　　Today he wears his hair short, I buy all his clothes so he looks pretty smart most of the time. We have 3 cars, to each his own. There are days when he eats something grotesque, I would sit next to him and eat my salad and cheese. We accept different folks different strokes, & have come to like each other's friends. As I took pain to explain to him the history behind the many things I love, he now goes antique hunting with me. I have designed a wardrobe system for him where he can easily find anything and everything, he has since become uncannily organized because he doesn't have to be sloppy any more. He works out in the gym and complains that I don’t do enough ! He still doesn’t send me flowers but has become openly affectionate without being embarrassed. I am talking less and he is speaking up more…

　　Is that enough to sustain a relationship? It is for us. We are very happily married and so can you. Start by getting rid of all those preconceived ideas, keep an opened mind and embrace each opportunity that comes your way. Stop counting differences, count similarities. Stop finding faults, find merits. Trust me, you too will find happiness the way I have.