上次跟大家分享了與異性約會時有甚麼禮儀需要遵守，今次會繼續和大家探討甚麼話題不宜在與異性初次約會時談論。

1.別談論宗教或政治

　　宗教信仰是很私人的事情，日後雙方感情深厚，可無所不談，但初步約會時最好不要談及有關話題。跟對方剛認識5分鐘，沒必要那麼快便與他分享你的內心精神世界吧？！我個人絕對支持信仰自由，即沒需要審查對方信甚麼宗教，又或許在對方面前傳道。互相尊重的意思就是順其自然，給對方一點私人的空間。

　　政治也是一個敏感的話題。如果你和對方有機會繼續發展的話，日後熟絡了一定有很多機會探討政治議題，辯論個熱烈的。但與對方初相識時最好避免談及相關話題。

2.別問及對方年齡

　　男人基本上有個共通的毛病，就是對對方的年齡很敏感。大部分男士認為自己的年齡不重要，就算他們年紀愈來愈大、髮線愈來愈向後退、肚腩愈來愈凸，他們始終認為自己是女人最好的禮物。但矛盾的是，男士不公平地認為跟他們相睇的女士最好不要超過29歲！

　　事實上，男士向女士問及年齡是極無禮的行為，女士們毋須容忍。特別是在頭三次約會時，女士們可採用克林頓「不問不答」的原則來應對，一笑了之。如果你倆相處不來，對方的年齡根本已不重要了。如果你倆合得來，年齡更不重要。女士們，請記住妳不一定要認同某些男人的愚昧行為，絕無迫切性去作答。

3.別談論你的前度

　　切記不要談及前夫、前妻、或前度情人，尤其是不愉快的往事，初相識時請勿急於與對方分享。假如你因為喪偶而內心尚未能平復，請向專業憂傷輔導員尋求協助。假若你走不出因前度有外遇或其他不愉快原因而跟你分手的陰霾，向專業輔導員或心理醫生傾訴可能有助。在你未克服所有悲痛或忿怒之前，其實是不應該與異性作約會的。對方既不是你的輔導員，更沒有任何責任或義務去治療你的情傷。跟異性約會時，應該是人生新一頁的開始，而不是你發洩內心悲痛、煩悶、怒火的地方。否則只會嚇怕對方，令你的感情生活更糟糕，不斷自怨自艾。

4.別談及負面話題

　　一個很簡單的法則，就是正面信息帶出正面能量，負面信息帶出負能量。大多數人，特別是第一次見面的時候，對負面的事會作負面的回應，反之亦然。假如你想心儀的對象對你有好感，就不要談及任何負面的話題，例如你的上司有多討厭、子女如何不聽話、工作有多苦悶、媽媽有多囉唆、同事有多八卦或鄰居有多嘈吵等等。你對不滿的事和人愈激動，負面的能量就愈多。如果你在約會過程中不斷發牢騷，我肯定對方不會再和你約會！

5.別過分吹噓自己

　　我試過有位男客人因自己過分吹噓自己而錯失良緣。阿榮讓我幫他找相睇對象，而我認為阿雪挺適合他。阿雪曾特別囑咐，不要跟男方提起她曾代表中國國家隊出戰奧運，並拿過獎牌。所以，我只向阿榮透露阿雪很喜歡打乒乓球。

　　之後他跟阿雪約會的那個晚上，不斷炫耀自己以前打乒乓球時有多威水，還說要教她打乒乓球的秘技！雖然阿榮很喜歡阿雪，但阿雪認為阿榮荒謬，大話連篇，不想再和他見面了。

　　與心儀對象約會時還是老老實實的、真摯的、誠懇的態度最為實際。

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

Dating Etiquette (2)

What Not To Talk About

Do Not Talk About Religion or Politics

　　Religion is something private and personal, please keep it that way. You have only met this person five minutes; do not feel obligated to share your utmost inner thoughts just yet. We advocate the freedom of religion, meaning you believe in whatever you want to believe in, do not ask, do not preach, just leave the other person alone and let him be.

　　Politics is likewise another sensitive subject. If you two are meant for each other, there will be plenty of opportunities ahead when you can engage in animated debates and argue to your hearts’ content, but for now, it would be wise to sidestep such topics.

Do Not Talk About Age

　　This is the cardinal sin of men, who are all ridiculously age sensitive. Most men believe their own age doesn’t matter, they can be as old as the hills, with receding hairlines and bulging abs and they will somehow always remain god’s gift to women, but then the women – god forbid – should never exceed 29. The truth is, it is exceedingly rude for a man to ask a woman’s age, and the women should not condone it. We strongly advocate Clinton’s policy: Don’t Ask and Don’t Tell – at least for the first three dates. If you don’t hit it off, it doesn’t matter any way. If you do, it matters even less. If the men are silly, it doesn’t mean we have to go along with it.

Do Not Talk About Your Ex

　　Please, please, please do not talk about your ex – very especially not if your parting experience was a bad one . If your spouse had passed away and you have difficulty dealing with his/her demise, seek help from a grief counselor. If you have gone through a bitter divorce or your ex had ditched you for another and it is still gnawing at you inside, speak to a counselor or seek psychiatric help. Deal with it and let it go. You should NEVER go out dating until you have dealt with the ghost of the past first – your date is not your psychiatrist, he/she has no obligation to heal you. “Dating” should be the new dawn, the beginning of a new chapter in your life, it is neither the time nor the place for you to spew venom. The only thing you will achieve is to frighten all of them away, leaving you alone in further despair, wondering why nobody wants you.

Do Not Talk About Anything Negative

　　As a simple rule of thumb: Negative information emits negative energy, whilst positive information emits positive energy. Most people react negatively to negative energy and vice versa, especially during initial encounters. Meaning that if you want your first date to like you, do not talk about anything negative. Don’t talk about your mean boss, your unruly children, your tedious job, your nagging mother, meddlesome colleagues or nosy neighbors… Remember, the more vehement the condemnation, the stronger the negative vibes. After an evening of spilling your guts out, it is extremely unlikely that he/she would ever want to see you again.

Do Not Talk Baloney

　　We told Wing that Sue likes to play Ping Pong, so he spent a good part of the evening trying to impress her with all kinds of tall stories about his own ping pong triumph,  utter hogwash of course, and ended up teaching her some “secret” techniques. Unfortunately for him, we had omitted - at her request - to tell him that she is a medalist, playing for China’s Olympic team. Wing is very fond of Sue but Sue doesn’t want to see him again.

　　Be truthful, be honest, be genuine, you never know whom you are going to meet.

人生Up to You工作坊系列《魅力‧形象‧品味Up!》Mei Lingx藍婷xRebecca Leung火速報名！

     想在職場、情場無往而不利? 除了要懂得裝扮外，個人修養及品味都同重要，經濟通etnet生活副刊邀請到全城熱捧鑽石媒人Mei Ling、國際認證專業形象顧問藍婷及紅酒專家Rebecca Leung教大家如何可以內外兼備，人生活得更精采。

日期:   2012年8月13日(星期一)
時間:   7:00-9:45pm
地點:   香港青年協會大廈9樓演講廳 (鰂魚涌港鐵站C出口)(地圖)
費用:   HK$200

試酒會: 工作坊最後設有試酒會，由Rebecca Leung親自揀選美酒，參加者可以邊品嚐，邊互相交流心得。參加者於會場更可享有購買葡萄酒優惠，即場揀選心水美酒。

詳情及報名: http://lifestyle.etnet.com.hk/column/index.php/etnet/member/11401