2009-11-24
細節見成敗
好的概念是成功的一半。問題是,如何才可以好好地執行。
英文俗語是The devil's in the details,意指壞了事情的,往往是一些細節。換句話說,亦即細節極可能是成敗得失的關鍵。
“T記”便是一好例子。
“T記”的創辦人是兩個大學剛畢業的朋友。
終日對著電腦不眠不休、絕對能出任漱口水代言人的是大T(亦是我一位朋友的弟弟)。其大學同房則是口沫橫飛、只見今日賺錢,細節留給明天(或別人)分解的小T。
雙T製作了一個代售熱門產品、服務的網站。在售出了產品、服務後,T記會發予客戶一封個人化的電郵(personalized email),買家憑電郵便可到商戶領取貨品。
且看以下出自小T手筆、發予客戶的電郵:
1. Print this or save it in your mobile phone to bring to the business.
2. Make sure you bring I.D. so that the business can identify you to ensure the rightful customer is redeeming the buy.
3. Head over to the location.
4. Present this confirmation and your I.D. before redeeming.
5. This company has been supplied a master list with your info, therefore there is no need to try and photoshop this document.
只要我帶電郵到商戶領取貨品,不管我帶的是打印版、儲存在手機內的電子版都沒關係。因此,用print this or save it in your mobile phone to bring to the business可說是多此一舉。
香港人表達時,有一弊病——囉囉嗦嗦。客人領取貨品要帶身份證明,當然是為了商戶核對所用,又何需畫蛇添足解釋道:“so that the business can identify you to ensure the rightful customer is redeeming the buy”?
此外,用rightful customer是否暗示有不合法客戶的存在?要表示所購商品、服務,用the purchase又是否比the buy好?
Head over to the location。朋友,若連“前往(商戶)地點”也要提醒客戶的話,那麼是否開門、上鎖、乘升降機也要替客戶寫下來?
全篇最令人歎為觀止的,是那“好客當賊辦”、警告客不要重覆使用此電郵 (偷竊?) 的恐嚇句:“This company has been supplied a master list with your info, therefore there is no need to try and photoshop this document.”
要重寫這幾句,必客氣又精一。以下簡單的一句,是否已能達到要表達的意思?
Please present this personalized email and your identification when redeeming your purchase. Enjoy!
【香港好去處】etnet全新頻道盛大推出!全港最齊盛事活動資訊盡在掌握!► 即睇