人生兩難：事業、愛情只可以揀一樣？

　　很多女人相信，自己今時今日的地位是以辛勤的學習與工作換來的，權力及社會的認同得來不易，她們不會為愛情輕易放棄事業。或正因為此，有更多事業有成的女性的婚姻觸礁，未婚的則依舊死守單身狀態。

 

　　愛情與事業能否兩者兼得？百事公司的行政總裁Indra Nooyi在福布斯的100位世界成功女性中排名13，她的年薪達1,800萬美金，擁有1.45億美金的財富，並有一段幸福美滿的婚姻，與丈夫Raj Nooyi的婚姻關係長達35年。她的成功之道有三：家庭、朋友及信念，有趣的是，她的事業不在此列。IBM的行政總裁Ginni Rometty、高等法院法官Ruth Ginsburg、英國前首相Margaret Thatcher均是家中的唯一經濟支柱或是賺錢較丈夫多；在香港，我們的女強人代表政務司司長林鄭月娥、前政務司司長陳方安生及葉劉淑儀等都是有能力的女性，又同樣擁有美滿的婚姻關係，以上例子證明只可以在事業及愛情中二擇其一的想法是個謬論。

 

　　雖然要在事業與生活中取得平衡非說做到便做得到的事，但亦絕非難事。要達致平衡，需要決心、實踐，而最需要緊記的是以下數個原則：

 

分清工作與愛情

 

　　擁有成功的事業及甜蜜的愛情關係是世上最美好不過的事，要兩者兼得，最好的做法是把事業與愛情兩個世界分得清清楚楚！

 

　　首先，工作上是專業女強人，回家後便做回可愛女人。永遠不是讓愛情干擾你的工作，在辦公室夢遊戀事中，你要在顧主面前發揮你最大的本事；同樣地，跟伴侶一起時，放下電話，投入二人的相處之中。不管是把工作帶進愛情，還是把愛情帶進工作都會成為其中一方的絆腳石。

 

事情有先後

 

　　為事情排序不等於要放棄一方，這只是權宜之計。愛情與事業同樣重要，只是有需要時，其中一方要優先處理。當愛情與事業都有穩固的基礎，即使處理兩者的先後輕重有別亦不成問題。

 

時間管理

 

　　一天的時間多少已定，我們不能要求更多的時間，只可以學會聰明地運用時間。一天24小時，我們至少需要預留12小時給自己，12小時聽來不少，但看看以下的時間運用表，你會知道這只是基本需要的時間，少於12小時暗示個人生活節奏緊張。

原則1：與其為了節省一半的費用到深水埗買東西，不如付多一點錢在就近的中環購買，節省時間。節省時間或金錢，當然是節省時間的價值較高！

 

原則2：電話的對話盡量精簡，生活亦要簡單一點。同樣的事情，可複雜，可簡單，當然是揀後者。

 

原則3：學會接受八成的狀況，如果其餘的兩成只是教你感覺良好一些，達成後的差異不大，就接受八成吧！

 

　　最重要的一點是要學會拒絕。一天只有12小時可用，要小心考量誰、甚麼事會佔用你的時間，為何這些需要使用你的時間。任何不合常理的佔用都要再經評估及調整，把時間花在工作、關係、興趣及你追求的生活上。

 

　　要體驗人生的真正意義何在，首先我們處事必須保持理性化。對的，隨之事業及愛情兩者皆可享有。

 

　　（按：中文內容乃翻譯及撮寫版本）

 

Balancing Love & Career

 

　　Many women believe that they have been studying and working so hard and for so long to get to where they are today, now that they have finally arrived at the level of remuneration, power and recognition they deserve, they cannot possibly relax their grip in the name of love. 

 

　　Probably hence, more super successful women are getting divorced, while unmarried power women continue to remain powerfully single. 

 

　　Can we not have both ?  Indra Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo, ranks 13 in the list of Forbes World’s 100 most successful women. She earns US$18 million a year, has a net worth of US$145 million and has also been happily married to her husband Raj Nooyi for 35 years. She believes the secret of  success rests on three pillars:“ Family, Friends and Faith”. Interestingly, her job was not mentioned. Ginni Rometty, CEO of IBM, Ruth Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice, Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of the UK…are/were either sole bread winners or earning infinitely more than their husbands. In Hong Kong, our own super women Chief Secretary Carrie Lam Cheng Yuet Ngor, former Chief Secretary Anson Chan Fong On Sang, Regina Ip Lau Suk Yee are all strong, capable women who once had, or still have happy and successful marriages. It goes to show that the necessity  to sacrifice one for another is a fallacy.

 

　　Finding a balance between one’s professional and personal lives is evidently possible, though not necessarily possible in a hurry. It takes determination, practice, and above all, strong disciplines: 

 

Separate The Two

 

　　Having a successful career and a loving relationship is the best of both worlds, and the best way to keep those worlds happy is to keep them separate! 

 

　　Firstly, be professional at work and be a woman off work. Never allow your love life to become a distraction, daydream outside the office. You owe it to your employer to deliver your best. Like-wise, when spending time with your partner, put away your cell phone and concentrate on him. Dragging work  into your relationship or vice versa has a tendency to encumber both.

 

Set Your Priorities

 

　　Prioritizing doesn’t mean sacrifice. It means adjustment. Communicate that both are of high priority and sometimes, as need be, one might take precedence. Once a strong foundation for both work and private lives is built, there will be no disruption when priorities shift.

 

Time Management

 

　　Since we cannot increase the number of hours in a day, we must  learn to use them wisely. Within a 24 hour cycle, we need a minimum of 12 hours for ourselves.  This may sound a lot, but as the utilization chart shows, the calculation is already based on a conservative minimum. Anything below that usually means stress.

Rule # 1: Instead of going to Shum Shui Po to buy something for half the price, pay more to buy it in Central because it saves you hours, and the time saved is worth more than the price difference.  

 

Rule # 2: Keep phone calls short and life simple . Between something complicated and something simple, always choose the latter.

 

Rule # 3: Learn to accept 80% especially if the other 20% only serves to make you feel better with little difference in substance. 

 

　　Above all, learn to say NO. With a meager 12 hours/day to spare, be mindful of who or what is consuming your precious time and why.  Any demand which is out of proportion may require an honest reevaluation and adjustment, be it your career, relationship, hobby or the lifestyle you’d like to maintain. 

 

　　Your life will make no sense unless you remain sensible. And yes, you can have it all.

 

 

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